Habits. Ugh.

Late last year, I mentioned to a friend that she should consider blogging. She always posts hilarious stories to Facebook, and often provides her writings to the church for the Spiritual Formation Blog (www.fumcg.org/quiet). A week or so ago, she took me up on my offer to help her get started. We met for lunch, set up her new blog, and off she went (at mvmesses.blogspot.com). In the process, though, I realized that I hadn't written in my own blog in a year!

I started a new blog this year... a travel blog because I've been doing so much running around. But even that didn't keep me faithful. I blogged through England, then Latvia... but failed to blog a spectacular long weekend to the northeast, and a few other here-and-there trips.

Each time I let months or years pass without blogging, I feel the loss of it. I'm disappointed that I haven't shared all the things I learned and have now forgotten. If I'd written about them, I would now have them permanently... so the rememberer doesn't have to remember so hard!

Our inspiring view at Lake Texoma
Last weekend I was at a women's retreat where Cindy Ryan spoke of finding wisdom in nature. I walked away with practical tips and instructions to pick one or two and get started. As with most constructive suggestions, I struggle to create the new routine. Cindy also shared about her journaling practices, and I honestly thought it would spur me to start journaling again. I used to do it faithfully.

This all dovetails into the "not blogging" thing because writing is one of my creative outlets... I want to do it, but I simply don't. I like to paint (which I have been doing), and zentangle too (which I haven't done in quite a while). I love flowers and sticking my hand in the dirt when it's warm from the summer sun... but I haven't worked in my flower beds in over a year (and they're suffering for it).

The question I have is: why? Why don't I do the things I love to do? It's not hard work. It's not that I don't have the time (I do!).

Last fall, our alumni book group was reading the book The Power of Habit. I started out with great intentions to get to the bottom of why I can't seem to create new, good habits for myself. If I can't create a habit to do something I truly love, how in the world can I expect to make a habit of the harder (but helpful) things... like being healthy or having quiet time or taking vitamins.

You guessed it: I couldn't even find it within myself to finish the book.

What I've decided is this: Unfortunately, the power of my Netflix and games-on-my-cell-phone habit seems to be stronger - much stronger, in fact - than any of the wonderful, more fulfilling, better-for-you habits I could choose.

This realization doesn't fix the problem, but I guess the first step is admitting you have a problem.

Comments

Mom said…
Your comments are so true---As you know I have kept journals off and on for decades---I have good intentions to get back to it!! Thank you for your inspiration:) ILY