The Quest

Every time I sit through a funeral I find myself wondering what my own will be like. (Yes, I know, that's incredibly selfish... selfishness is the cross I bear.) I sometimes think about what it would be like for me to live to an old age and die. I'll be alone. There will be no family to come to my funeral - no children or grandchildren, no nieces or nephews. My friends will be old too - if they're even around anymore. And so I have to wonder... how sad would that be? To live your whole life and have nothing to show for it? I guess the thing we consider to be a person's legacy most often is their family. What's my legacy? You could say it's your work, but that is an awfully dull thing to be known for. It could be how you treated people, but what if you outlive everyone who knows and loves you? And on the practical side of things... if you die alone - with no family - then who buries you or cremates you? Who buys your gravestone? Who scatters your ashes...

My boss's father passed away on Sunday. For most people, that would just be an event of note because it's your boss and you should care. In this case, however, we all knew him. Floyd followed Ken in his ministry. Literally. He moved here when Ken did, following his son from church to church since Floyd himself was retired. The first time I met Floyd, he told me how wonderful his son was. He said Ken was a great preacher - perhaps the best he'd ever heard. Floyd told me, though, that I'd need to work on Ken to get him to come up with sermon titles. Little did I know at that point that Floyd would become my biggest fan. Until he fell ill, Floyd came into my office at least once a week and heaped enough praise on me to make up for any frustration a job might entail. He complimented me incessantly. I could do the most simple of things, and he would rave. To be quite honest, I'm having a very hard time not being selfish about Floyd's passing. I know that he m...

I have a friend who always criticizes me. Over the time that we've known each other she's labeled me in three ways in particular that bug me: 1) I'm a negative person; 2) I'm impatient; and 3) I'm intolerant. The first time this happened it was the negative thing. That was in NO WAY how I saw myself. I have some negative friends and I never would have put myself in that category. But I decided to take that into consideration and try to be more aware of the times when I might be negative. But more recently - the impatient and intolerant thing - totally shocked me. On both counts, I'm just not seeing it. I'm hardly ever in a hurry. I always hear people out. I don't see things as black and white - but shades of gray. I'm just not coming up with proof that these characteristics describe me. So I asked someone who knows me REALLY well, and she agreed that I was not the most patient person. Ummm... oookay. I asked for examples. She couldn't c...