The Quest

Shannon and I used to write notes to each other during class. (Yes, we were in college. What's your point? Note-writing didn't die in Junior High.) We had a lot of little sayings that we'd use in regular conversation, and many of them required a certain tone of voice in order for you to get their true intent. When writing rather than talking, we'd put "tov" in parenthesis when using one of these words or phrases. That was my signal to him that I wasn't actually asking "Really?" but being sarcastic... Really? (tov) In other words, read those words with the tone of voice you know I'd be using if we were talking. There are so many uses for tov. "I'm winning (tov)" is different than "I'm winning." I can't remember now all the phrases we added tov to (Shannon probably can... I wish I had those notes handy so I could look back). But there are many times when I'm writing that I feel the compulsion to add tov. ...

I completely forgot to write yesterday. When I decided to try daily blogging, I knew it would be a challenge. I feel like I'm doing pretty well, but when evening comes and old routines fall into place... it becomes bedtime before you know it! Yesterday was Sunday, and since I've moved to New York I haven't settled into a church. So Sunday mornings are very relaxing... no angst about whether everything is going well in Grapevine, and no rush to get up and get going. It's interesting that Sunday mornings have historically been a source of stress for me. Although my "ought to" tells me I should be going to church, my "want to" tells me to step outside and breath deeply of the world that God has created. It was a beautiful day for that yesterday. It seems to me that we, as humans, manufacture a good bit of stress for ourselves. The old stress of Sunday morning church has been replaced with a new stress of the "ought to." And then there'...

I've often wondered if I could manage to write a blog post every day. There are a lot of people these days who monetize their blogs and make good money becoming influencers. I don't know about the influencing, or the monetizing actually... but I do think it would be a good habit to write every day. This is not a new concept and has been taught by many, including our favorite Dr. Cindy Ryan , who has given us all the tools we need to be an every-day journaler. I have failed miserably. I see the value, and I have the desire... but I have not been faithful with daily writing. If I can't be faithful in personal journaling, how in the world would I be successful writing a daily blog? I suppose, like anything, you have to make it a habit. I've often heard that it takes a month to build a habit. Google now tells me it's more like 66 days, on average. Either way, I have been an every-day writer for at least that long at times in my life. And yet, I still fell out of the...

It's hard to believe that my first winter in New York is about over. I feel sure there will be another cold snap or two, but mostly I think it's over. There is no snow on the ground, today is about 70 degrees, and the trees in the yard are thinking seriously about leafing out. In some ways, I feel that life has been in a bit of a winter hibernation as well. Because I didn't find my fit in a new job before winter set in, it feels like I've been holding out, waiting to bloom too. I'm anxious - not nervous, but anticipating with great excitement - to see what will be next. There have been a few possibilities pop up, and one in particular still simmering. I feel that it's seriously thinking about leafing out too, but it's not ready quite yet. I'm trying not to rush it. You can't force a flower open, or a leaf from a branch. You just have to wait. In some ways, I think I'm very good at waiting. I have a lot of great hobbies and things to keep me b...

As our home begins to fill with Christmas trees and puzzles and Chex Mix, a new season dawns. That means something a little different to me this year. It's not just a holiday season... it's a life season. I had a job interview on Tuesday. When I woke up, it was snowing. If you know me well, you may know that translates to anxiety. I have always been afraid of driving in snow and ice. So, in addition to the nerves an interview evokes, there was additional trepidation over the drive. It all turned out fine, of course. The snow was wet and there was no ice. The roads were clear and I actually arrived in the area of my interview about 15 minutes early. The interview went well as far as I could tell. The whole experience served to remind me how much angst is self-generated. We worry over things that simply aren't as bad as our minds inflate them to be. Later in the week, as I was endlessly shifting Christmas ornaments on the two trees in the front windows, a question forme...

The first week of unemployment, I spent driving. The second week of unemployment, I spent entertaining my parents before they headed back to Texas. The third week of unemployment, so far... I have returned my router. Exchanged ceiling fan rods. Shopped for greeting cards. Read a funny little book called "All My Friends Are Dead." Written thank-you notes (I promise they will be in the mail soon). Washed sheets (thanks to Meg for standing up from her nap and immediately squatting on Kef's bed). Played games on my phone. Picked up poop of all sizes. Deposited checks. Compared calendars with Kef. Changed my address on things. Applied for jobs (and read about lots of jobs I don't want). Entertained dogs while electricians worked. Spent an embarrassing amount of time trying to figure out how to turn Kef's TV on. Pondered how it's possible that I'm on week three. What I haven't done is spend much time really exploring my new-found freedom. I haven't...

Late last year, I mentioned to a friend that she should consider blogging. She always posts hilarious stories to Facebook, and often provides her writings to the church for the Spiritual Formation Blog ( www.fumcg.org/quiet ). A week or so ago, she took me up on my offer to help her get started. We met for lunch, set up her new blog, and off she went (at mvmesses.blogspot.com ). In the process, though, I realized that I hadn't written in my own blog in a year! I started a new blog this year... a travel blog because I've been doing so much running around. But even that didn't keep me faithful. I blogged through England, then Latvia... but failed to blog a spectacular long weekend to the northeast, and a few other here-and-there trips. Each time I let months or years pass without blogging, I feel the loss of it. I'm disappointed that I haven't shared all the things I learned and have now forgotten. If I'd written about them, I would now have them permanently....

How is it that a year can pass with little or no thought? My busy, busy job makes my mind swim at times. So when I'm not at work, I feel the need for blankness. Absence of thought or purpose. Time passing without fanfare. When I look at my blog, I feel a great loss. The year that's passed has been an amazing one, and yet my absence of thought is greatly apparent on my blog. Some might think my blank blog is evidence that I don't have thoughts or experiences to share. Nothing could be further from the truth. In reality, I've had a great number of experience in the past year. And I've had some time for reflection too. I spent a good bit of time after I returned from Latvia getting involved in our ministries there. Planning, communicating, meeting and sharing. I went to Tennessee for the Friends of Latvia meeting, and became the FOL Secretary. I built a website and implemented an electronic news platform. I had a great struggle in June as I turned 40 and tried to...

I just took the plunge and purchased a convertible Lenovo ideapad. It's super-awesome, but I'm having some learning curve issues with Windows 8. I've watched a couple of introductory videos... if I hadn't done that I'd be completely lost! I'm not sure the benefit of using all these apps, and there are things that I thought would be apps that aren't. Kind of odd. Anyway... I promised myself that when I got this computer I'd do more writing. Not that my old computer was inadequate for writing. It was fine. But sometimes something new inspires you just because you want a new reason to use it. And I really really want to find a million reasons to make this crazy purchase worth it. Something has occurred to me in the weeks (months?) since I last wrote. I'm not very introspective of late. When I don't make the effort to write often, I just let days and days go by without thinking about anything important. I come home from work, sit in front of th...

I was alarmed to hear one of our office volunteers talking about how her granddaughter's school does not teach the children how to write in cursive. WHAT?! How will they know how to sign their name? How will they read letters from their grandmother? Or the Declaration of Independence? Or many, many, many historic documents? I do believe that schools are doing a great disservice to our country and to family histories that are passed down through the written word. I understand that there are people who prefer to print. Fine. But what about learning the ability to READ what is written in cursive? If you don't learn to write it, you're probably not learning to read it either. This, in my opinion, is a travesty. If your child is currently in a school that does not teach cursive (either the reading or the writing of it), I implore you to teach it to them yourself. What kind of upstanding citizen can't read their nation's historic documents? Or their great-grandfather...