The Quest

When I wrote that title just now, I decided settle might have a bad connotation. I don't mean settle for less than the best;  I mean come to rest . So I went to thesaurus.com for some alternatives. I had to laugh out loud when one of them was "plop." A season to plop. Mmmmkay. We've just enjoyed a long visit with my parents, who decided that fall was a much better time to come to New York than Christmas. On the plus side, they came early enough that we could celebrate dad's birthday together. On the unfortunate side, the fall colors really haven't peaked yet. So they didn't get a fall color fix, even though we tried. It is, however, very definitely autumn. The temperatures are much cooler; the heater even kicked on when it got down to 37 degrees the other night. Every day when I go to work, there are new trees starting to display the tell-tale golden hues of letting go. I, too, am starting another season... one of settling in. At the end of the mo...

I suppose it was inevitable that shortly after I announced my return to full-time work, my career as a daily blogger came to an abrupt halt. I had all good intentions of keeping up with it, but a tiny voice in my head told me I didn't have to because things were going back to normal. At first, my mind was solely focused on preparing to re-enter the work force. I needed to unsubscribe from all of the job-search notifications, de-activate my open resumes, and decide what to wear the first day of work. Then there was the first day. I felt, in a way, that I was narrating my life much like Genesis. In the beginning, the job front was formless and desolate. Then God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. I went to work, picked up paperwork, got an ID, met with my new boss. There was evening, and there was morning. The first day. Then God separated the sky and the waters. I had projects assigned, had more work than I could finish, and went home to a busy weekend. A...

I've been "blog silent" for a couple of days and much has happened in our world during that time. Domestic terrorists (meaning, our neighbors) have killed many people, among them a young mother (the great-niece of a dear friend of mine) and her husband. Three children under the age of 5 were orphaned by a man who held hatred above all else. (And that's just the one family I'm most aware of... how many others are there?) On the other side of the country, another friend was verbally insulted and made to fear for his safety and that of his family. Why? Because he was skipping with his daughter. A stranger felt hatred above all else, and felt it so profoundly that he ruined a perfectly innocent moment between father and child. These acts of physical and verbal violence have hung heavy over my spirit these past few days. This morning I was at a breakfast meeting with a room full of people I've never met. The last thing on our minds was hatred. Our interaction...

Here it is... the moment we've all been waiting for! Many of you have been as eager as I to discover where I'll land next... and probably just as many are ready for me to get on with it already. I'm overjoyed to say that we're all getting what we want! I'm starting a new job and you all get a reprieve from reading about the in-between! So, the winner is.... Emma Willard School ! I am amazed beyond reason that I'm going to be working on the communication team at the "first women's higher education institution in the United States" ( Wikipedia ). It started out as higher education in 1814, and is now an all-girls high school. The girls can board or be day students. There are many students from other countries as well. Growing up in a small town in West Texas, I never knew about boarding schools. I didn't have the benefit of Harry Potter to fuel my imagination about what going away to school might be like... at least not as a teenager. I did,...

Pupstraction: Being distracted by puppies. We stood in the dining room this evening discussing possible blog topics while the pups entertained both us and themselves. Roxy's CleverPet was the source of much of this distraction. In case you haven't heard of the CleverPet... it's like a flying saucer full of dog treats has landed in your home. It has blue lights across the front a la 2001: A Space Odyssey , only less spectacular. If your pet taps the lights in the right order, they are rewarded with a treat. Unfortunately, it doesn't ever respond with Also sprach Zarathustra . (That would be super entertaining if it did, though.) Meg has decided that the CleverPet is the best source of nighttime snacks, but she doesn't really know how to open it. Her mom helps out when she gets the first one right but can't figure out the second one. Her Aunt Kef's tactic is to point to each correct light and encourage her to do it herself. She can do it with Kef's hel...

When I lived in Lubbock, I was very active in the Emmaus Community. The Walk to Emmaus is a weekend of spiritual renewal that is once-in-a-lifetime. Once you go on your Walk, you can participate as a team member. But you only go on your "pilgrim" walk once. I went on a walk for teenagers, called Chrysalis, in 1990. I worked on several teams and was eventually a Lay Director for a Walk in the Llano Estacado Emmaus Community . I even served as the secretary of the board for several years. Over time, I was a member of a couple of different reunion groups. These are people who get together regularly to share the spiritual aspects of their lives. (Although it's called "reunion," group members don't have to have been on the same Walk.) When I moved to the DFW area, Emmaus was harder to connect to. Monthly gatherings weren't the same as they were in Lubbock, if they happened at all.  It took me several years before I even sponsored someone on a Walk in tha...

I was standing outside this evening, looking through the windows at the warmly-lit living area that has been the center of my home for the past few months. There is very little inside that belongs to me. The furniture isn't mine. Most of the linens and cleaning supplies and dishes aren't mine. The electricity isn't mine, nor are the walls and floors and toilets and bed. But from the outside looking in, it felt like home. There have been many times over the past few months that I've missed my "stuff." I have wished I had this thing or that. Hesitated to buy this or that, because I have a similar one in storage. I've spent a fair bit of time thinking about how I'll get my things when the time comes. And yet, as much as I've missed the trappings of my own home, it has been a little bit freeing. It's not often you're able to be liberated of almost everything but the clothes you wear. I've reflected on it many times, wondering if I reall...

This morning, I closely followed the progress of a particularly dedicated ant, hauling another dead ant away. I can only assume that the live ant was taking the dead ant back to the nest. It made me wonder why. Is this a military ant... never leave a fallen comrade? Or a teacher ant... no ant left behind? At one point, the live ant dropped the dead ant and appeared to be having trouble regaining her hold (I've read that all ants are female... is that true?). So, I took a stick and flipped the dead ant so that she would be more easily carried. Luckily, Live Ant was then able to get a better grip on Dead Ant and they continued on. While this was going on, the dogs were having great fun wrestling all over the place. I asked them nicely to not wrestle over the ant, and certainly not to step on her as she's making such a valiant effort. She tripped over rocks and climbed grass and dodged dogs. Live Ant was a super-hero ant. When I searched Google for more information on the tr...

I woke this morning to an email from one of my Latvian friends. She is one of those people who instantly knew me, deep in my soul, as soon as we met. Has that ever happened to you? I've been lucky to have it happen many times in my life. In addition to the wonderfully strong women in my own family, I have felt the influence of powerful mentors throughout my life. I hesitate to name names, because I couldn't possibly name all of them. But I'm going to anyway, just to give you a sense. There was Helen Jennings, who taught my Sunday School class when I was just a kid. She had the strength of a farmer's wife, a mom, a sense of right and wrong, and an innate knowledge of when to distribute hugs and when enough was enough. Her sister, Mary Ann Gestes, shared that same sense. My teachers in school were almost all strong women... I remember one in particular, Mrs. Bonner (her first name was Gloria, like my mother, but my 2nd and 3rd grade self could never call her that). Sh...

This morning I was watching a series of TED talks on diversity in preparation for an interview at an organization that provides training on workplace diversity and inclusion. As I was absorbing these words of wisdom, I began to reflect on my own circle of influence (which includes you, dear reader). This brought me to my trusty friends list on Facebook. What I found was that most of us share a very similar demographic. There are a few from other countries, a few from other races, but the vast majority are people very similar to me. We share the same culture, and similar backgrounds... on the surface. Yet when I think of each person on that list, I think of what makes them unique. I am reminded how we first met. Some I was born into knowing. Some I've known since Kindergarten. Some I met literally yesterday. Some speak a different language than me (some more than one). Some I've never met in person (though most I have). Some have a very unique family lineage, and others don...

This morning I was struck by the degree to which Kef and I have fallen into a routine. Every Friday evening, we eat at Margarita City , where she orders a jalapeño margarita, and I a lover's kiss margarita (made with cranberry juice, orange, cinnamon). We always get queso, which they insist on calling cheese dip. I invariably order the same thing each time: Burrito San Jose (chicken and chorizo inside a flour tortilla, queso on top). I always sing the song, "Do You Know the Way to San Jose?" either out loud or in my head after ordering. Kef's orders vary, but usually involve beef. On Saturdays, we go to Sushi Tei . We both order hot green tea and miso soup. I, again, consistently order the same thing: salmon katsu box with rice and a crab tempura roll. Kef always gets a spicy scallop handroll on soy paper. The other parts of her meal vary on a rotation of certain sushis and sashimis that she loves, usually involving some sort of tongue-scorching spice. She always ne...

It's hard to believe that my first winter in New York is about over. I feel sure there will be another cold snap or two, but mostly I think it's over. There is no snow on the ground, today is about 70 degrees, and the trees in the yard are thinking seriously about leafing out. In some ways, I feel that life has been in a bit of a winter hibernation as well. Because I didn't find my fit in a new job before winter set in, it feels like I've been holding out, waiting to bloom too. I'm anxious - not nervous, but anticipating with great excitement - to see what will be next. There have been a few possibilities pop up, and one in particular still simmering. I feel that it's seriously thinking about leafing out too, but it's not ready quite yet. I'm trying not to rush it. You can't force a flower open, or a leaf from a branch. You just have to wait. In some ways, I think I'm very good at waiting. I have a lot of great hobbies and things to keep me b...

This morning I was going through my daily ritual of Facebook scrolling, checking emails, and perusing job opportunities. A few things vied for my attention... The constant drip-drip of snow melting. The soaking-wet dog laying in the rain, then running through the house. A posting for Director of Marketing and Communications at Catholic Charities of the Diocese of Albany. A new blog from Dr. Cindy Ryan - " Peaceful Butterflies ." A reminder to read today's devotional in my current reading plan entitled, "Where You're From, Where You're Going." --- I love butterflies. I have ever since I went on my Chrysalis in 1990. The rainbow-colored butterfly on my De Colores t-shirt represented new life. Each spring and summer in Texas, my Vytex would light up with fragrant blooms, and the butterflies came running (err... flitting). Until reading Cindy's post, however, I had never connected that beautiful image of transformation with the nervous "butt...

As our home begins to fill with Christmas trees and puzzles and Chex Mix, a new season dawns. That means something a little different to me this year. It's not just a holiday season... it's a life season. I had a job interview on Tuesday. When I woke up, it was snowing. If you know me well, you may know that translates to anxiety. I have always been afraid of driving in snow and ice. So, in addition to the nerves an interview evokes, there was additional trepidation over the drive. It all turned out fine, of course. The snow was wet and there was no ice. The roads were clear and I actually arrived in the area of my interview about 15 minutes early. The interview went well as far as I could tell. The whole experience served to remind me how much angst is self-generated. We worry over things that simply aren't as bad as our minds inflate them to be. Later in the week, as I was endlessly shifting Christmas ornaments on the two trees in the front windows, a question forme...

The first week of unemployment, I spent driving. The second week of unemployment, I spent entertaining my parents before they headed back to Texas. The third week of unemployment, so far... I have returned my router. Exchanged ceiling fan rods. Shopped for greeting cards. Read a funny little book called "All My Friends Are Dead." Written thank-you notes (I promise they will be in the mail soon). Washed sheets (thanks to Meg for standing up from her nap and immediately squatting on Kef's bed). Played games on my phone. Picked up poop of all sizes. Deposited checks. Compared calendars with Kef. Changed my address on things. Applied for jobs (and read about lots of jobs I don't want). Entertained dogs while electricians worked. Spent an embarrassing amount of time trying to figure out how to turn Kef's TV on. Pondered how it's possible that I'm on week three. What I haven't done is spend much time really exploring my new-found freedom. I haven't...

On Monday, my parents, pups, and I set out on a new adventure. After the closing on my house, we hit the road for a series of days driving from Texas to upstate New York. Our nights' stays would be at places I found on Airbnb  in Little Rock, near Louisville, and near Erie. When I told people I was moving to New York, most were immediately concerned that winter would be unbearable. Keeping in mind that millions of people live further north than Texas, I was sure I'd survive somehow. One individual, however, responded with, "New York is so beautiful. The green there is the greenest green." I've been pondering green ever since. As we drove through East Texas, I noticed how muted the greens were. Some mostly yellow from the summer heat... some sage from the dust... some a muted evergreen when there were stands of trees. In Arkansas, the green got cleaner. There was less dust, less yellow. Moving through Tennessee and into Kentucky, the green was a little bit navy...

This is one of my favorite graphics I've created over the past 13 years at FUMC Grapevine. It was for the launch of a new worship schedule, which always makes people uncomfortable. I still loved it. I loved the fresh feel of sprouts coming out of the letters in the font. I loved the dirt that keeps you grounded and reminds you that new things aren't always tidy. I loved the promise of what that plant would be or do or produce when it grows up. I loved the bright points of light in the background, each with their own possibilities. And, I loved Isaiah 43:19... partially because of the question it asks: Do you not perceive it? Sometimes it takes a while to perceive - or acknowledge, anyway - a new thing. Sometimes we fight it... deny it... avoid it. And sometimes we throw wide the door and run through. For the past few weeks, my door has been thrown wide, and I'm running through to a new thing. The dates are now firm, the plans in place. So, now the announcement (drum ro...

Late last year, I mentioned to a friend that she should consider blogging. She always posts hilarious stories to Facebook, and often provides her writings to the church for the Spiritual Formation Blog ( www.fumcg.org/quiet ). A week or so ago, she took me up on my offer to help her get started. We met for lunch, set up her new blog, and off she went (at mvmesses.blogspot.com ). In the process, though, I realized that I hadn't written in my own blog in a year! I started a new blog this year... a travel blog because I've been doing so much running around. But even that didn't keep me faithful. I blogged through England, then Latvia... but failed to blog a spectacular long weekend to the northeast, and a few other here-and-there trips. Each time I let months or years pass without blogging, I feel the loss of it. I'm disappointed that I haven't shared all the things I learned and have now forgotten. If I'd written about them, I would now have them permanently....

Someone asked me at the airport today whether I'd rather be in Chicago or DFW. Chicago is fine... and DFW is fine... but my answer was, "I'd rather be home." There's something about that word. It doesn't really matter where "home" is... whether on the east coast or west coast or south or midwest... home is wherever you want most to be. One definition... "relating to the place where one lives." It's the place - literally - where I live ... where I'm most alive. As much as I love visiting family and friends... going on vacation... having the opportunity to travel... what I most love in the world is being at home. For the next couple of months I'll be travelling more than usual, so home will be more amazing than usual. I'm excited and ready for my upcoming trips... but I'm already ready to be home. :)

This Sunday we're beginning a series of sermons on "Our Favorite Sins." This is based on research by the Barna Group ... the result of surveys of people about their perceived sins. One of the "sins" people report is overeating. As we were discussing this, the subject of obesity came up... and I cringed. People assume that everyone who is fat is an over-eater, or an emotional eater. People assume that people who are thin don't overeat. I just hope that the sermon doesn't villainize people who look different than our society's ideal, just because of our assumptions and judgments about their spiritual state, their health and their diet. You can't judge a book by its cover. Take me, for example. I am fat, no doubt. I hesitate to use the word "overweight" because that implies that there is a "right weight" - and that is so subjective. I refuse to accept our society's standards for what is the right weight, the right way t...