Living on Purpose
Sometimes, life just happens to a person. We can live day to day with little or no regard to the meaning or purpose of our lives. As I've been applying for jobs and considering what I want to do next, I've realized that days are passing me by, quite without intention or purpose. I know there's wisdom in taking time and relaxing into some peaceful rejuvenation... and I also know that I can be quite skilled at doing absolutely nothing and having nothing to show for my time.
So, I've begun to wonder if I should schedule out my time, even though it's all really "free time." Should I calendar my visits to libraries and cemeteries? Should I log my every moment? Every episode of American Pickers? Every walk and Google search? At 10:00 I looked at the state of Cindy's blog. From 10:20 to 10:35 I researched the Elder family. From 10:35 to 10:40 I soaked up some sun, swatted dragon flies away from Meg's back, and watched Maya dodge acorns as they fell from the trees. At 10:41, I hurried to write down that five minutes of outside time before I forgot the details.
Even though I'm very conscious of the passing of time, I'm also cognizant of how rare it is for a middle-aged adult to have the opportunity to pause from work for a while and reassess. I'm very thankful for the time, and I don't want to squander it. I also don't want to regret not taking the opportunity to "do nothing" for a little while.
For the past 13 years, my work has seemed purposeful. Each day, I accomplished something that contributed to a greater good. I generated work product that I could point to and say, "I did that." Exactly one month ago (hadn't thought of that until just now), I walked away from that purpose.
I knew that my "next thing" was amorphous. At the time, I was excitedly moving on to the next step of my life's journey. Now that I've had a little time to simmer in my new reality, the excitement of a new adventure has waned a bit. I look at my calendar and don't see anything all week, except birthdays. (Happy birthday, Dad! Gita! Bev!)
"Living on purpose" is subjective. To an on-looker, it may appear that someone is doing nothing... lacking purpose. To the person living it, their purpose may be crystal clear. This Monday morning, my purpose is to pause and reflect on this awkward stage of my life. My purpose is to scratch a furry head and do some writing. My purpose is to uncover generations of a family that have been long forgotten and dedicate some time to photographing historical headstones in the cemetery down the road.
Tomorrow's purpose? We'll see. Tomorrow.
So, I've begun to wonder if I should schedule out my time, even though it's all really "free time." Should I calendar my visits to libraries and cemeteries? Should I log my every moment? Every episode of American Pickers? Every walk and Google search? At 10:00 I looked at the state of Cindy's blog. From 10:20 to 10:35 I researched the Elder family. From 10:35 to 10:40 I soaked up some sun, swatted dragon flies away from Meg's back, and watched Maya dodge acorns as they fell from the trees. At 10:41, I hurried to write down that five minutes of outside time before I forgot the details.
Even though I'm very conscious of the passing of time, I'm also cognizant of how rare it is for a middle-aged adult to have the opportunity to pause from work for a while and reassess. I'm very thankful for the time, and I don't want to squander it. I also don't want to regret not taking the opportunity to "do nothing" for a little while.
For the past 13 years, my work has seemed purposeful. Each day, I accomplished something that contributed to a greater good. I generated work product that I could point to and say, "I did that." Exactly one month ago (hadn't thought of that until just now), I walked away from that purpose.
I knew that my "next thing" was amorphous. At the time, I was excitedly moving on to the next step of my life's journey. Now that I've had a little time to simmer in my new reality, the excitement of a new adventure has waned a bit. I look at my calendar and don't see anything all week, except birthdays. (Happy birthday, Dad! Gita! Bev!)
"Living on purpose" is subjective. To an on-looker, it may appear that someone is doing nothing... lacking purpose. To the person living it, their purpose may be crystal clear. This Monday morning, my purpose is to pause and reflect on this awkward stage of my life. My purpose is to scratch a furry head and do some writing. My purpose is to uncover generations of a family that have been long forgotten and dedicate some time to photographing historical headstones in the cemetery down the road.
Tomorrow's purpose? We'll see. Tomorrow.
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