The Quest

Yeah for productive meetings! I feel like I've finally been able to share my feeling that the church has become less and less about a relationship with Jesus and more and more about things to do. Not only have I been heard, but I've also found that others are thinking the same thing. And that a survey of our congregation shows that they are not growing in their relationship with Christ. So... I feel a renewed sense of vigor about tackling this issue and hopefully arriving at a place that makes me more content with working in the church. Whew! I'm sure glad because I was dreading having to look for another job.

After having the most promising staff meeting in recent history... and after spending a great weekend laughing with my old college friends... I'm feeling pretty good about things! Work is looking up in that we are talking more about helping people connect with God and less about unimportant stuff. And I can't tell you how great it felt to laugh late into the night on Saturday. I really need to keep connected with my old friends because they are the ones who can put life into perspective for me and give me a more positive outlook. Not that my other friends can't do that... but right now some of my newer friends are in places of extreme emotion and depression. Life has not been good this year in many ways. I'm trying to find a way to hold onto that happy carefree attitude, while still respecting the grief and turmoil that others are enduring. Not exactly sure how I'm going to do that. I'm looking forward to what will hopefully be a light, fun evening tonight ...

"The Economic Crisis" still isn't effecting me in terms of the stock market, but I'll tell you what... I'm having a mini economic crisis of my own! God, time for a little mystery money to fall from the sky. Can you arrange that?!

It's not that what I do is bad. Maybe it's just not as necessary as I always thought it was. My perspective on it has changed. There's nothing inherently wrong about committing to prayers, presence, gifts and service. It's prioritizing that over your relationship with God that would be wrong. But the two things can coexist and probably do for some people. Maybe just not for me. I always thought that my job in the church was working for God . That's where I was wrong. But most jobs don't really work for God... and lots of people are happy doing them. So maybe if I just accept that I'm working for men then the things we do around here will not seem to be a reflection on God. Does that make any sense whatsoever? Maybe this will clarify: Colossians 3:23 says "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men." That verse says to do things as if you work for God... in other words pretend. Let's try...

I've come to realize that I just hate October in this church. We spend so much time, energy, focus and money on getting people to commit to the organization... why?? What difference does it make if you check the little boxes and set up your auto-draft if you don't have a relationship with God? Oh, you could say that we're assuming that everyone who does make a commitment does have a relationship with God. But maybe that's not really the case. Since nothing about "stewardship month" actually has anything to do with a relationship with God, maybe the whole of our membership is duped into thinking that by filling out that form they are securing their salvation for another year! Maybe they fill out that form out of a sense of obligation to "the machine" (as I've come to call it) instead of out of any compelling move of the Spirit. I know that guilt made me fill that form out last year. But I'm not doing it again. The man-made machine ma...

It only took one staff meeting... and now I've already forgotten what any of this has to do with God. It's a good thing no one reads my blog or I could get myself into trouble!

After some thought over the weekend, I think I've come to a decision about what my goal (at work) for 2009 will be: to answer the question, "What does this have to do with God?" My reasoning is this: there is not one thing we do in the church that is required in order to have a relationship with God. I've never thought about this before, but that's my take-away from the book So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore . So what I would like to do in the coming year - if not for others, then simply to give myself a reason to show up here - is to make a "God Note" for everything we do that explains what this activity has to do with God. None of the things I promote and advertise to our congregation are requirements. They are all optional, and for the past three years we have rarely (if ever) explicitly connected them to anything spiritual. Maybe people do that in their own minds. But I would like to endeavor to make our communications more God-c...

I'm tired of trying to change people's minds. I'm shocked at the racism and bigotry and fear-mongering that exists... and that it exists so prevalently in people that I actually know and love. But you can't pick your family, right? I'm tired of worrying about money. If I could just have a $50,000 windfall, my life would be much easier. But I suppose there will always be a crisis of the moment... if it's not about money it will be about something else. I'm tired of working hard to communicate about things that most people don't seem to care about (myself included). I'm supposed to be coming up with some sort of goal for next year, and I don't even know where to begin. My goal is to not quit my job... because if I consider this meaningless, some other job isn't going to be any better. I'm tired of being philosophical. I'd like to be Pollyanna... not a care in the world. If only I didn't think about things so constantly. Mos...

Answer: It's not. Oh, I could buy the argument that it effects everyone. But in all honesty, it's not effecting me personally. Why not? Because I have a solid income, a solid mortgage (which I pay every month), and very little money invested anywhere (and even the "little" is in an IRA that I won't need for many years to come). The biggest thing that effects me is the never-ending bad news. It frustrates me because I know things will turn around. I know it's not the end of the world. But the way you hear about it on the news you'd think it's the apocalypse! The thing that makes this bad is that if you tell people that things are terrible, they will believe you!! People are going to believe what they hear on the news. They're going to hear about the doom and gloom, and then what? Then they stop spending money. And that only makes things worse. So why don't we try this: stop talking about it for a while. Let the markets do what the...