Deep Breath

I've come to realize that I just hate October in this church. We spend so much time, energy, focus and money on getting people to commit to the organization... why?? What difference does it make if you check the little boxes and set up your auto-draft if you don't have a relationship with God? Oh, you could say that we're assuming that everyone who does make a commitment does have a relationship with God. But maybe that's not really the case. Since nothing about "stewardship month" actually has anything to do with a relationship with God, maybe the whole of our membership is duped into thinking that by filling out that form they are securing their salvation for another year! Maybe they fill out that form out of a sense of obligation to "the machine" (as I've come to call it) instead of out of any compelling move of the Spirit. I know that guilt made me fill that form out last year. But I'm not doing it again. The man-made machine may think that's blasphemy, but thank God they are not my final judge. I don't want a relationship with a machine. I want a relationship with God. And he has yet to ask me to check little boxes and sign my name.

So *inhale* - *exhale* - I'll take a deep breath and drag myself through the last of this month. Look for God in all of this... and hope that somehow I will find enough of a reason to continue on at this organization... if not by my membership then at least via work.