The Quest

I completely forgot to write yesterday. When I decided to try daily blogging, I knew it would be a challenge. I feel like I'm doing pretty well, but when evening comes and old routines fall into place... it becomes bedtime before you know it! Yesterday was Sunday, and since I've moved to New York I haven't settled into a church. So Sunday mornings are very relaxing... no angst about whether everything is going well in Grapevine, and no rush to get up and get going. It's interesting that Sunday mornings have historically been a source of stress for me. Although my "ought to" tells me I should be going to church, my "want to" tells me to step outside and breath deeply of the world that God has created. It was a beautiful day for that yesterday. It seems to me that we, as humans, manufacture a good bit of stress for ourselves. The old stress of Sunday morning church has been replaced with a new stress of the "ought to." And then there'...

It's hard to believe that my first winter in New York is about over. I feel sure there will be another cold snap or two, but mostly I think it's over. There is no snow on the ground, today is about 70 degrees, and the trees in the yard are thinking seriously about leafing out. In some ways, I feel that life has been in a bit of a winter hibernation as well. Because I didn't find my fit in a new job before winter set in, it feels like I've been holding out, waiting to bloom too. I'm anxious - not nervous, but anticipating with great excitement - to see what will be next. There have been a few possibilities pop up, and one in particular still simmering. I feel that it's seriously thinking about leafing out too, but it's not ready quite yet. I'm trying not to rush it. You can't force a flower open, or a leaf from a branch. You just have to wait. In some ways, I think I'm very good at waiting. I have a lot of great hobbies and things to keep me b...

I've found that changing your own mind can be challenging. This morning, I was to take Roxy to day camp and then I planned to go to the DMV to become an official New York resident (i.e. get my plates and license changed). I pondered whether I should take my car or Kef's, because mine is not 4-wheel-drive. I pondered whether there would be a line at the DMV. I figured there wouldn't be because the "weather is bad." As I was driving away from the house, two things struck me: The weather is not bad... to them. If I were still in Texas and had this weather, everyone would be holed up in their houses. Waiting. Here, this is perfectly normal and actually quite pleasant. It's currently not snowing. No precipitation coming down at all, actually. So... it's just another day. Not a bad weather day. Therefore, anyone and everyone could be out and about... just like any other day.  There are thousands of people driving cars around here that are 2-wheel-drive. Plu...

The first week of unemployment, I spent driving. The second week of unemployment, I spent entertaining my parents before they headed back to Texas. The third week of unemployment, so far... I have returned my router. Exchanged ceiling fan rods. Shopped for greeting cards. Read a funny little book called "All My Friends Are Dead." Written thank-you notes (I promise they will be in the mail soon). Washed sheets (thanks to Meg for standing up from her nap and immediately squatting on Kef's bed). Played games on my phone. Picked up poop of all sizes. Deposited checks. Compared calendars with Kef. Changed my address on things. Applied for jobs (and read about lots of jobs I don't want). Entertained dogs while electricians worked. Spent an embarrassing amount of time trying to figure out how to turn Kef's TV on. Pondered how it's possible that I'm on week three. What I haven't done is spend much time really exploring my new-found freedom. I haven't...

Late last year, I mentioned to a friend that she should consider blogging. She always posts hilarious stories to Facebook, and often provides her writings to the church for the Spiritual Formation Blog ( www.fumcg.org/quiet ). A week or so ago, she took me up on my offer to help her get started. We met for lunch, set up her new blog, and off she went (at mvmesses.blogspot.com ). In the process, though, I realized that I hadn't written in my own blog in a year! I started a new blog this year... a travel blog because I've been doing so much running around. But even that didn't keep me faithful. I blogged through England, then Latvia... but failed to blog a spectacular long weekend to the northeast, and a few other here-and-there trips. Each time I let months or years pass without blogging, I feel the loss of it. I'm disappointed that I haven't shared all the things I learned and have now forgotten. If I'd written about them, I would now have them permanently....