Daily is so very.... daily.
I completely forgot to write yesterday. When I decided to try daily blogging, I knew it would be a challenge. I feel like I'm doing pretty well, but when evening comes and old routines fall into place... it becomes bedtime before you know it!
Yesterday was Sunday, and since I've moved to New York I haven't settled into a church. So Sunday mornings are very relaxing... no angst about whether everything is going well in Grapevine, and no rush to get up and get going. It's interesting that Sunday mornings have historically been a source of stress for me. Although my "ought to" tells me I should be going to church, my "want to" tells me to step outside and breath deeply of the world that God has created. It was a beautiful day for that yesterday.
It seems to me that we, as humans, manufacture a good bit of stress for ourselves. The old stress of Sunday morning church has been replaced with a new stress of the "ought to." And then there's the stress of needing/wanting to do things daily, the "ought to" that goes with that, and the disappointment of failing. Whether it's writing, or exercising, or eating vegetables, or cleaning, or any number of other daily things that are really good for us... we manufacture stress around the doing or not doing.
During this season of doing or not doing, I've tried to reflect rather than stress. Sometimes I've succeeded, other times not. That's where the gift of writing comes in... you can discover things that are on your mind, even if you didn't realize they were. In the first few weeks of my new journey, I was actively releasing the stress of work and moving. In the next few weeks I was engaged in the stress of unemployment. Then, for a time, I felt myself releasing stress. My stomach ulcer became less agitated, my shoulders relaxed, I was needing fewer trips to the chiropractor.
As time has passed, I have felt daily stress creep back in, primarily surrounding the job search. Daily, I've been reminded that everything will work out in time. Daily, I've realized how impatient I can be.
This week I have job interviews. That's noteworthy because there have been many weeks with nothing brewing. My daily will look different because of that, and so will my stress. Daily I'll learn something new, as I usually do. But this time, the new things will be about organizations and people that could possibly be part of the next step on my journey. Daily I'll stress, as I usually do. But this time, the anxiety will be a necessary and fruitful stride forward.
Yesterday was Sunday, and since I've moved to New York I haven't settled into a church. So Sunday mornings are very relaxing... no angst about whether everything is going well in Grapevine, and no rush to get up and get going. It's interesting that Sunday mornings have historically been a source of stress for me. Although my "ought to" tells me I should be going to church, my "want to" tells me to step outside and breath deeply of the world that God has created. It was a beautiful day for that yesterday.
It seems to me that we, as humans, manufacture a good bit of stress for ourselves. The old stress of Sunday morning church has been replaced with a new stress of the "ought to." And then there's the stress of needing/wanting to do things daily, the "ought to" that goes with that, and the disappointment of failing. Whether it's writing, or exercising, or eating vegetables, or cleaning, or any number of other daily things that are really good for us... we manufacture stress around the doing or not doing.
During this season of doing or not doing, I've tried to reflect rather than stress. Sometimes I've succeeded, other times not. That's where the gift of writing comes in... you can discover things that are on your mind, even if you didn't realize they were. In the first few weeks of my new journey, I was actively releasing the stress of work and moving. In the next few weeks I was engaged in the stress of unemployment. Then, for a time, I felt myself releasing stress. My stomach ulcer became less agitated, my shoulders relaxed, I was needing fewer trips to the chiropractor.
As time has passed, I have felt daily stress creep back in, primarily surrounding the job search. Daily, I've been reminded that everything will work out in time. Daily, I've realized how impatient I can be.
This week I have job interviews. That's noteworthy because there have been many weeks with nothing brewing. My daily will look different because of that, and so will my stress. Daily I'll learn something new, as I usually do. But this time, the new things will be about organizations and people that could possibly be part of the next step on my journey. Daily I'll stress, as I usually do. But this time, the anxiety will be a necessary and fruitful stride forward.
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