Changing Seasons
As our home begins to fill with Christmas trees and puzzles and Chex Mix, a new season dawns. That means something a little different to me this year. It's not just a holiday season... it's a life season.
I had a job interview on Tuesday. When I woke up, it was snowing. If you know me well, you may know that translates to anxiety. I have always been afraid of driving in snow and ice. So, in addition to the nerves an interview evokes, there was additional trepidation over the drive.
It all turned out fine, of course. The snow was wet and there was no ice. The roads were clear and I actually arrived in the area of my interview about 15 minutes early. The interview went well as far as I could tell. The whole experience served to remind me how much angst is self-generated. We worry over things that simply aren't as bad as our minds inflate them to be.
Later in the week, as I was endlessly shifting Christmas ornaments on the two trees in the front windows, a question formed in my mind: "Does it really matter?" Will anyone else notice that there are two red things next to each other... that there are two vertical ornaments in close proximity... that there are far more round/ball shapes than other shapes? As I stood outside in the freezing cold evaluating what you could see from the street, again I wondered: "Will anyone really drive by and think, 'They really need more large ornaments showing for passers-by'?" Again, self-generated angst. (Confession: I made more adjustments when I went to take pictures.)
I've always loved this time of year, even though it created much more pressure at work. This year is different. I don't have the stresses of the holiday season at work, yet I seem to be creating my own anxiety. And I am also honing the skill of consciously recognizing that anxiety and reasoning myself out of it.
The other great thing about this particular season is that I have time to learn new things. I was watching an advanced Photoshop training video the other day and marveling at how many things I didn't know after years of using the software. I've been listening to a webinar on writing with flair, led by a former editor at the Wall Street Journal. As I've been preparing to apply for jobs, I'm learning about organizations and their work... about addiction and historic preservation and insurance and universities and agency work. One of our family holiday traditions has been to do a "volunteer thing," and so I'm learning about opportunities to help others.
For the past several years, I've been in a season of stability. It's been comfortable.... a little bit like having the same weather every day. Now, my season is changing. The weather is different, the discoveries are different, the feeling is decidedly unstable. And yet... it still feels comfortable in its own way. Like doing what you were created to do.
I had a job interview on Tuesday. When I woke up, it was snowing. If you know me well, you may know that translates to anxiety. I have always been afraid of driving in snow and ice. So, in addition to the nerves an interview evokes, there was additional trepidation over the drive.
It all turned out fine, of course. The snow was wet and there was no ice. The roads were clear and I actually arrived in the area of my interview about 15 minutes early. The interview went well as far as I could tell. The whole experience served to remind me how much angst is self-generated. We worry over things that simply aren't as bad as our minds inflate them to be.
Later in the week, as I was endlessly shifting Christmas ornaments on the two trees in the front windows, a question formed in my mind: "Does it really matter?" Will anyone else notice that there are two red things next to each other... that there are two vertical ornaments in close proximity... that there are far more round/ball shapes than other shapes? As I stood outside in the freezing cold evaluating what you could see from the street, again I wondered: "Will anyone really drive by and think, 'They really need more large ornaments showing for passers-by'?" Again, self-generated angst. (Confession: I made more adjustments when I went to take pictures.)
I've always loved this time of year, even though it created much more pressure at work. This year is different. I don't have the stresses of the holiday season at work, yet I seem to be creating my own anxiety. And I am also honing the skill of consciously recognizing that anxiety and reasoning myself out of it.
The other great thing about this particular season is that I have time to learn new things. I was watching an advanced Photoshop training video the other day and marveling at how many things I didn't know after years of using the software. I've been listening to a webinar on writing with flair, led by a former editor at the Wall Street Journal. As I've been preparing to apply for jobs, I'm learning about organizations and their work... about addiction and historic preservation and insurance and universities and agency work. One of our family holiday traditions has been to do a "volunteer thing," and so I'm learning about opportunities to help others.
For the past several years, I've been in a season of stability. It's been comfortable.... a little bit like having the same weather every day. Now, my season is changing. The weather is different, the discoveries are different, the feeling is decidedly unstable. And yet... it still feels comfortable in its own way. Like doing what you were created to do.
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