Keeping Quiet
There have been many times lately that I have found myself keeping my mouth shut, my opinion to myself. I have a particular set of beliefs and opinions, just as we all do. But I am surrounded by people who don't agree - or at least my perception is that they don't. I have begun to wonder... do I do a dis-service by keeping quiet? Or is it okay to just maintain peace and not disagree with anyone? Does it matter if people know my opinion? Is it okay to just let them assume that I agree with them, when I don't?
Case in point: I had lunch with someone the other day who was upset about their pastor's sermon that morning. I asked what it was about and she said, "Helping the poor." And went on to assert that this is further proof that her pastor "is a Democrat." In my head, I thought, "And that's bad because.... why?" Why is it bad to talk about helping the poor? Jesus did it all the time, and last time I checked this person claimed they are a follower of Jesus. And so what if your pastor is a Democrat? There are lots of people in both parties that claim religious affiliation. Christian does not equal Republican. Nor does Christian equal American. But did I say anything? Only, "Hmm."
Another case in point: At our family reunion we were playing "Apples to Apples" - where you match an adjective with a fitting noun. This game really underscored the difference in my opinion and the opinions of my family members. I kept getting nouns like "talk radio" and "right-wing" - which I would have readily put with adjectives like "annoying" or "tedious." However, I knew that my family disagreed with me. So I spent the game trying to match words safely so as not to instigate a debate over "who in the world would think THAT?"
One final case: The other day, someone in the office was praising one of our pastors for all the weight he has lost and told him to "keep it up." Although I'm glad he's been successful so far, my recent reading has shifted my perspective on the benefits of weight loss. I worry that he is doing himself more harm than good, and will only gain that weight back and then some. Statistics indicate that this is true. And then I worry that he will feel terrible about himself all over again... just like every fat person in America is taught they should. I wanted to say, "You look good, but you looked fine before too... because being fat is okay." But I didn't... because, really, I didn't want people to look at me and say, "You're insane."
I'm not insane. I just have my own opinions. And for the sake of peace, I keep them to myself.
But, for the record, I think it's okay to help poor people... more than okay, it's the mark of having a heart. It's basic human kindness. I also think it's okay to be a Democrat. Or a Republican. Or no party at all. I think talk radio people are annoying. And I wasn't a fan of George W. Bush as a President, but I'm sure he's probably a good man (although I don't have personal experience, I've heard stories). I think it's a good idea for gay people to be able to marry each other. They are real people with real feelings, real love, real families, and real needs for benefits and rights. I think it's okay for people to be fat. I think fat people have the right to be loved and respected and not persecuted... just like everyone else has those rights. And I think bodies are beautiful, no matter what they look like. Bodies are amazing feats of engineering, design, creation. And my fat legs are a marvel, because they bear the weight of my body with strength.
Case in point: I had lunch with someone the other day who was upset about their pastor's sermon that morning. I asked what it was about and she said, "Helping the poor." And went on to assert that this is further proof that her pastor "is a Democrat." In my head, I thought, "And that's bad because.... why?" Why is it bad to talk about helping the poor? Jesus did it all the time, and last time I checked this person claimed they are a follower of Jesus. And so what if your pastor is a Democrat? There are lots of people in both parties that claim religious affiliation. Christian does not equal Republican. Nor does Christian equal American. But did I say anything? Only, "Hmm."
Another case in point: At our family reunion we were playing "Apples to Apples" - where you match an adjective with a fitting noun. This game really underscored the difference in my opinion and the opinions of my family members. I kept getting nouns like "talk radio" and "right-wing" - which I would have readily put with adjectives like "annoying" or "tedious." However, I knew that my family disagreed with me. So I spent the game trying to match words safely so as not to instigate a debate over "who in the world would think THAT?"
One final case: The other day, someone in the office was praising one of our pastors for all the weight he has lost and told him to "keep it up." Although I'm glad he's been successful so far, my recent reading has shifted my perspective on the benefits of weight loss. I worry that he is doing himself more harm than good, and will only gain that weight back and then some. Statistics indicate that this is true. And then I worry that he will feel terrible about himself all over again... just like every fat person in America is taught they should. I wanted to say, "You look good, but you looked fine before too... because being fat is okay." But I didn't... because, really, I didn't want people to look at me and say, "You're insane."
I'm not insane. I just have my own opinions. And for the sake of peace, I keep them to myself.
But, for the record, I think it's okay to help poor people... more than okay, it's the mark of having a heart. It's basic human kindness. I also think it's okay to be a Democrat. Or a Republican. Or no party at all. I think talk radio people are annoying. And I wasn't a fan of George W. Bush as a President, but I'm sure he's probably a good man (although I don't have personal experience, I've heard stories). I think it's a good idea for gay people to be able to marry each other. They are real people with real feelings, real love, real families, and real needs for benefits and rights. I think it's okay for people to be fat. I think fat people have the right to be loved and respected and not persecuted... just like everyone else has those rights. And I think bodies are beautiful, no matter what they look like. Bodies are amazing feats of engineering, design, creation. And my fat legs are a marvel, because they bear the weight of my body with strength.
You may disagree with me. In fact most of the people I know would disagree with at least one of those statements. But that's okay. You have your opinion, and I have mine. But I probably won't share my opinion unless you ask me directly... because, quite frankly, I don't want to argue about it. I'm not a fan of debate. I'm a fan of the underpants rule. You mind yours and I'll mind mine.
And, yes, I'm still a Christian. No, I'm not a left-wing radical (although I'm more liberal than I used to be). I'm absolutely not a right-wing conservative. I'm not an anything-wing anything... I just think we could love each other more... be more compassionate and more understanding than we currently are. We could value one another more than we value money. We could question all the "right" and "wrong" things we are certain about, and consider the possibility that our certainties are hurting people.
"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
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